Standings after Week 9

Standings audited by the independent accounting firm Arthur Anderson.

Dallas Lady Stars (7-3-2) - The ladies have already finished their season, by their own doing. They requested a second matchup against the Stingers and were granted one by the league on Saturday, coming up short vs the defending league champs. Currently the DLS (aka Van Buren Girls) are sitting on top of the points right now but have no more control of their destiny, since they've played all 10 of their regular season games. With all the other top teams having at least one more game to play, and holding only a one point lead, DLS aren't guaranteed even a 2 seed to play for the championship, but mathematically they have chance. Taking two of their three losses into overtime helped tremendously. Next Opponent - None

The Stingers (7-2) - Stingers went through a rough patch recently, after starting the season 6-0, but even their 6 wins didn’t come easily. They allowed some opponents to go to a fourth frame and pick up a point before putting them away. One of those overtime wins came against the DLS. The Stingers were challenged by DLS for a rematch, and some schedule juggling allowed that to happen. After two straight losses in weeks 7 and 8, to the Ice Gators and Keller Indians, some closed door come-to-jeebus meetings and a tough practice brought the team together and beat the DLS to save their chances to defend Lord Stanley’s Keg. The run is not over, however – Stingers must win vs Silver Bullets in order to keep championship hopes alive. Next Opponent – Silver Bullets (3-5-2).

Arlington Rangers (7-2) – The Rangers are right in the mix for the playoffs due to their stellar record against their Parks Mall divisional rivals. Their only two losses come against the cream of the NYTEX crop. With one more game to play at NYTEX to end the season, versus the red hot Arc Angels, the Arlington Rangers stand a chance to make their Parks Mall comrades proud by finishing strong. Next Opponent - Arc Angels (6-3)

Indians (7-2) – Always in the hunt season after season, these boys from Keller know how to take care of bidness. The Indians’ only losses come against 2 formidable teams, Dallas Lady Stars and the Ice Gators. But they better “check six”, those Mid-Air collision flyboys could bring the hurt in the final game of the season and knock the Indians out of playoff contention.

Ice Gators (6-2) – Ice Gators have a long week ahead of them to finish out the regular season. They’ve got two games to play before their regular season is over, one on the road at the Parks Mall Thursday vs. Arl. Caps, and one back at NYTEX on Saturday against the Spider Monkeys. But if they are able to win out, they’ll be in the playoff mix. The Uniform Czar loves their safety-orange threads.

Arlington Sens (6-3) – The Sens don’t have a goal scoring problem, but they let an early-season game slip through their fingers vs the Caps, and despite beating the Caps twice since, the Sens’ 3 losses mathematically eliminate them from playing for the Keg. The Sens face the Arl. Bolts this weekend, who appear to be winless.

Arc Angels (6-3) – And now we have for your consideration, the attention starved Arc Angels. You can all thank the Arc Angels for snapping your pal Dickie Dunn back into line, hopefully this will do them proud. How about a little numerology. The Arc Angels have been on a freaking tear over the last 4, count em FOUR games. You know what else there are four of? Only four goals scored by the Arc Angels opponents in the last 4 games. Whoa! But avert yout eyes from the other number four; the Arc Angels four losses put them squarely out of Keg contention. They still can, however, impact the playoff picture by preventing the Rangers from scoring points. It's also worth mentioning that The Uniform Czar, who cares nothing of wins and losses, is still dubious of the Arc Angels’ lack of effort toward obtaining a uniform which befits a team of their experience in the league. P.S. See readers, you comment, we listen!

We'll take a closer look at the rest of the league next week - It's not that there's a lack of stories to report on the rest of the teams, but I have totally run out of time this week. And I can't get all this sand out of my vajine.

-Dickie Dunn